You know you're living in a hostel when...

What's the difference between a hostel and a hotel? There doesn't seem to be a precise distinction, but over the course of our travels we've encountered some pretty clear signs that we're staying in a (cheap) hostel...

1. You're happy to receive a towel, but a little less happy when you realize your "towel" is a bathmat, i.e., a place to dry your feet

2. There's not a single electrical outlet in your room

3. Shelves are held in place with a string

4. Even when all doors and windows are closed, bugs (and we mean large ones) have a clear, direct path into your room

5. Any curtains are sheer, ill-fitted to your window and held up with a string and nail crudely smashed into your crumbling wall

6. Your "shower" is simply a shower head thrown on any old wall in your bathroom - doors or curtains are unnecessary, just be sure to remove all paper products before turning on the water

7. Your toilet lacks a seat

8. Your door is secured by a flimsy padlock that an eight-year old could pick with a paper clip

9. You're woken up by roosters, pigs, construction, your neighbor's clock radio, or all of the above

10. You're bloated, you've got diarrhea and the shared bathroom is separated from the hall and other bedrooms by a sliding door and semi-wall that you can see over

11. You wear flip-flops in your tepid to cold shower

12. Your "fitted" sheet will not stay fitted to your bed for even five minutes

13. You lift a shabby and oddly placed curtain in the center of a wall to find... "oh, hello neighbor!"

14. You can't identify the stuffing of your homemade pillow... rubber? styrofoam? old clothes?

15. You reserve in advance only to find upon arrival the place is totally full except for a make- shift room detached from the rest of the building

16. A cheerful greeting is posted on your room's door, including helpful reminders like: "After you have occupied the room for 15 minutes, you may not have your money back"

Actually, the truth is that there is a huge variety of what kind of accommodation a couple can get for $10 or $15 per night. We've had a spic and span room with a hot shower and television, and we've also had places like those pictured above.

To be sure, though, the absolute top of the line only came when Mama and Papa Boyd were in town... Imagine our delight when we were treated to something more like this: